U in the Ring

Land Acknowledgment PSA 0:00
It's Nick here, and you're listening to CFUV. One Oh 1.9 FM broadcasting from the traditional territories of the songhees, Esquimalt and sinach people.

Zia Regino 0:12
Welcome to you enduring a podcast that goes deep into issues at the University of Victoria. I'm Zerah Hino, and I'm your host for you in the ring.

University stressful, I think everyone can agree to that. Regardless of what program you're in school can be overwhelming for anyone. There can be a lot of pressure to succeed and get good grades. And it can be hard to maintain a healthy balance between work and play. Personally, it can be hard to complain about how your work is negatively impacting your health, especially when you chose to put yourself through this. It is a choice and a privilege to be in university. I think in academic and professional spaces. Most people avoid talking about mental health in order to avoid being seen as incapable or even less intelligent. Which is why it's even more impressive when someone such as a professor is open about their own mental health struggles. That's how I felt with one of my professors. And I was fortunate enough that they agreed to be interviewed to discuss this. Here's our conversation.

Ian O'Connell 1:26
Hi, my name is Ian O'Connell. I'm a Professor of Geography and here at UVic in the department in the faculty of social sciences, he him is what I go by. And like I said, happy to be here.

Zia Regino 1:41
Before we get started, I just want to acknowledge that even with the person as open as Ian, mental health is still a difficult topic to talk about. He had his own hesitations with this interview. And given that this is a completely different space than a lecture hall, that's completely understandable. So I'd like to thank Ian once again for sharing his story.

Ian O'Connell 1:59
As we talk about mental health in society as a whole, and especially today in academic spaces, it's it's this, as a geographer, perhaps we're kind of more attuned to this is this idea of safe places, okay. And on campus, we have lots and lots of safe places, which is UVic is really good for that. But this idea of a self, like a place where you can just be comfortable. So the anxiety is part of who I am. And it's that idea of not knowing what the interview was going to be like. I mean, you were wonderful, you provide me with lots of information and support, but it was just when you suffer for these kinds of issues, your brain is going 101 different directions. It's one of those things, it's as academics or as part of the Academy of students is that this is what we do. We that's what we do every day. It's a we are, especially as a professor, you're you have think of a different way of doing something, trying to come up with a new way of thinking about something. So we're actually training our brains in one sense, to feed into that bad idea of going. So instead of you going, what if you go What if and then if I do that, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, and suddenly, you've spiraled. And you're, that's when you get into those positions where you've just no longer can do anything else. And as I realized to on this new journey, that that was happening to me for years, but I didn't recognize that it was happening to me. And now Thank goodness I am.

Zia Regino 3:29
So diving into this episode's topic of conversation. What does mental health and mental health wellness mean to you?

Ian O'Connell 3:37
If you don't mind, I'm gonna answer that with a journey of my own. Because I'm working on what that means is the best phrase and I'm not avoiding your question. I'm going to give you the story, the trajectory. I'm a geographer, of course, I'm going to give you the story and it has distance involved in it. I'll be honest, originally, before I was diagnosed, I didn't know anything about it. Really. I knew it existed. And being a professor, students will come to you with issues and everything else. And I've always been exceptionally open to that, you know, okay, if you've had a bad week, here's an extension. Okay, this is, you know, okay, you're not really doing so well as you thought in this class. Let's see if we can find positive. So I was always very good at that for everybody else. But I was absolutely terrible at that for myself. So I would say my idea of what mental illness was was, in one sense, I thought it was a weakness that people would have or it would be something that you know, well, you're not mentally This isn't an illness or a syndrome. You're just just cheer up is in my bones, what was going through my head and I never said this to anyone. It's just, you know, mental illness, people should just smile more, and all this kind of stuff. And then I realized on my own journey, that that's one of the big stigmas about it is that it's invisible. It was invisible. To me, I couldn't see it. And other people, you know, are very good looking after students with their mental health issues, and I was appreciative of it, but I didn't really understand it is the way I would put it is I didn't truly understand the enormity of it, I understood that it was impacting people, it was impacting their ability to succeed, and especially in my own classes, so I want my students to succeed. So I would give them the space they needed, I would give them the time they needed, I would listen to them, I wouldn't, I would mentor them as best I could. But I wasn't doing it to myself, because I didn't know what was. And it's the wrong word. But my counselor and I worked very carefully on vocabulary. Vocabulary is important when you talk about mental health and wellness is that I didn't know that there was anything wrong with me, and wrong is the wrong word. But I didn't know that I was suffering is probably a better way of putting that. And so what. So I didn't realize. But what I didn't know I was doing was I was just focusing completely on my job. And to the detriment of everything else. That it was, I would put what energy I had was into teaching, looking after my students go into meetings and everything else because that I felt I had control. Okay, that I control that because there's a lecturer who read my slides, I can manage that. But when my brain would then be anxious, I had no control because the brain was. So the best thing to do with that was not listen to that part of the brain into this. So COVID hit, right. And as you've noticed, I love being in front of the classroom, that's one of my safe places, sounds kind of a strange place to be safe. But that's one of my safe places. And when COVID hit us, I was also the undergraduate advisor for the geography department. So I had all that extra responsibility. So I had that responsibility of being empathic to students who are trying to finish their degrees. And suddenly, courses were being canceled or not being this and there was that summer, I didn't get a single break, and then went straight into the September one. And COVID was starting, and then we started hearing about be well be calm, be kind, and it was all this stuff. And then I was just getting overwhelmed. And I was literally, as I said to my counselor, my doctor, I was running on fumes. And actually I was running on the fumes of fumes. I didn't even have fumes left to run on. I wasn't sleeping, I was worried about everything I was worried about even the smallest even if the door closed loudly, I would jump I was so much on edge. So I literally phoned my doctor to make an appointment. And all I wanted was sleeping tablets. I just wanted someone to help me sleep. And thank goodness, I'm one of the previous people, I have a family doctor. So she's known me for 20 years. She took one look and went Nope, you're off work. I know what No, no, no, no, I'm not at work. I told the students to look after their I'm teaching three classes like I was

looking at no work, you're not well, and then it hit me that I was not well. And this is one of these confidentially sharing moments that I've gone back and forth on whether I should share it or not. Is was sitting having dinner with my wife. And she looked up at me and she said, You know I love you right now. And yes, she said, don't really like you at the moment. And my that was the kick to my brain. That was when the brain stopped and when, what. And that's when I started to reach out for help. And that's when I called my doctor thinking that sleep would help gone way past needing sleep, I needed a lot more than sleep. So luckily I was I was literally that then that following morning, I logged on to, to zoom to say goodbye to the students. And I was in floods, floods of tears saying goodbye to them. But it was very nice. I've kept the Zoom chat of that because it was all these, you've got the sea hidden. Thanks for what you've done like it was and I go back to that every now and again. It's very kind of it's like, oh, thank you so much for that. And then it was then I started seeing a counselor and I saw a counselor every week. And then the counselor has helped me realize that I'm on a journey. She would laugh at me and she's wonderful because I'd go so what am I going to be fixed? In there's no fix, you're going to become better. And you're going to be understanding of it. So then mental. So it was counseling was the key and actually asking for help was the key. And that's one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you today was is that that's the key. It's not I mean, obviously I was given some medication to help and I was counseling to help but it's just asking for help is so to me now. Mental Health Wellness means your ability to ask for help, and be that a professional who can help you out As your roommate, or your friend, or a colleague, or just someone says How you doing our normal reaction is to say, we're fine. But we're not. So. So to me, it's, I've found this great strength now that I'm, like I can, I can feel that I'm stronger than what I was. And that the stigma that we have in society on mental health, like weakness is not good. And all this and it was No, I think the ability to cry, and the ability to care is not quite the opposite. I was feeling so critical of myself that I'd let my students down and a friend around to me and said, you taught them more than five minutes there than you did in the whole semester. And I went, That's not a compliment. And they went, No, no, no, you show them that that couple of minutes? How it's okay. To not be well, it's okay. To realize you can't do it anymore. That that's and that it's okay to start getting? Well. Again, the two things that have helped me the most, when I share my my, my battles with this is self criticism, self criticism versus self compassion. It's very easy to self criticism. It's very easy to self criticize, like, you don't do well on the midterm. What did I do or I criticize, you don't say, Well, I had a bad week, I had three midterms, we don't go to there. We go to criticizing ourselves. So it's trying to move from self criticism to self compassion. And that's a journey, I'm not there yet.

Zia Regino 11:40
Thank you so much for sharing that, I think you said a lot of like important things, especially at least being a student, I are not even like, not even specific to being a student. I think like, personally, I can also be really hard on myself, I feel like I am able to, like, be patient to other people and be understanding and kind of give them space. But then when it's me, I have like these really high standards for myself, absolutely. When I don't even do the same to other people. And especially when it comes to mental health and mental wellness, I feel like coming to grips with the fact that it is a journey, and you will never be completely fixed, you'll just become better at dealing with your problems and be more at peace with yourself and kind of accept that, like, you're going to have those hard days. And that's okay, because you're going to learn how to adjust for that and like, kind of be okay with being sad once in a while, because you know that they're also really great days when you're with your friends and family or doing the things you love, you know,

Ian O'Connell 12:49
exactly. I mean, that's, that's the thing about self compassion is that when you do suffer with mental health issues, again, that idea of being invisible, you are seen as this great support for the people around you, because that's where you've placed your emotional energy. But you're not being a good support for yourself in that environment. And that's the thing is that anxiety and feeling low or depressed, are natural feelings. But you're not supposed to have them all the time. Like you have an exam coming up, it's okay to be anxious that there's an exam coming up, because that will focus you to study for it. But it's not okay to be so anxious, that doesn't make you well. It's the same. Like it's that taking that joy, you said like you're giving yourself permission to have a bad day. With me, that was a failure, I had a bad day. That was I'm a failure. Again, using vocabulary, again, like amazing counselors helped me with is that I would use the word should have instead of could have, when I talk to her, her we don't use don't stop using the word should have and I should point out and should have is automatically self critical. I should have done this means you've already told yourself you made the wrong decision. Whereas if you say I could have done this, you're giving yourself permission that you had another choice, and I'm the one that doesn't make. Oh, hang on that makes really good sense. When you listen to the words great. And this ability to take joy in simple things was how my well how my support from my counsel and Doctor began was it was giving myself permission to have bad days and given myself permission to say this was a good day. And my idea of a good day was huge. And that no, no. Did you get up this morning? Yes. Did you have a shower this morning? Yes. You've had a great day. And I'm there going? How was that a great day. I haven't achieved No, no, no. You got up. You showered. You got as far as the sofa. It's a good day. That's about no that's good that you achieved something today. Then the next day, same thing. Then the day after that. Oh, I made lunch for everyone. That's a brilliant day. But the one I remember and this is, as I said, I chatted to my colleague about this. My colleague has two young sons, toddlers, and part of my wellness was getting outside because I would go home work. I mean, I would stay up to all hours answering emails. And so I wasn't enjoying the outdoors or an animal live in Victoria. Enjoy the outdoors all year round. So my colleague said, Well, why don't you come come for a walk with me and me and the boys just come for a walk. And we want to talk about work because you're off work. And we won't delve into anything. We'll just chit chat and we'll and I used to. I call her son's my therapy, toddlers, because it's that joy in the moment that I was missing, that we would walk around the corner from the trail, and there would be swings. And then they'd start laughing and smiling and Bill swings, swings, and you'll go and look and going, why can't I be joyful like that. And then I started to realize it is it's the little things. You look out. It's a beautiful day, or my teenager comes home and decides to talk to me, daddy, he does always talk to me about this idea. He'd share something that was important to him. That's a good day, like little things we do. We get joyful, amazing events, weddings, births, complications, but really those are they just last for a split second, really. But you know, to get up, you meet your friend to go for a coffee and they smile at you and ask you how your day. Is that a good day? All right. And that's what I do. I'm looking for the little nuggets.

Zia Regino 16:35
Yeah, I think it's really important that you said that, like it's totally different from person to person. I think the reason why that I like really respect and admire us because like, obviously, there is a power dynamic being student and being a professor. But because of that it's not very common for professors to be vulnerable to their students. They're kinda like, they place this wall where they're like, strictly professional, or like this is business. Going into that idea of like sharing with your students. Can you tell the story of the first time you were honest about your mental health struggles in front of students was the first time with my class?

Ian O'Connell 17:12
That was the first time Yeah. And again, I come back to that idea of safe spaces. I didn't actively make the decision to do it. I talked to people about it. Again, some people said I should some people said I shouldn't. And again, that power dynamic. Do you want to look weak to your students? And then that was that phrase, didn't I that didn't sit comfortably with me because I don't think I'm weak. I have an illness, but I'm not weak. And I know from my many years of teaching here, you Vic is that mental health is mean COVID focused us on it. But it's been with us forever. In academia, because it's sometimes you know, it's, we're under very unusual pressure. It's this isn't like a job, where you go in at nine o'clock and you clock off at five minutes done. It's not you have a paper, do you have an exam, the next day, I have a class to prepare. And we, we kind of move into the next day. And we haven't even started the next day, right? I honestly didn't decide until I stood in front of you all, it was that moment that I felt. For me, being in front of a class of students is my safe place. It's one of the places I'm in, I'm in at home with my family, and I am in front of that classroom. And it's I am who I am. And you know, I make silly jokes and do funny things in the classroom. But that's because I want students to relax. Not that I'm not, I don't want to make this material seem unimportant. But you know, it's this is this is what we're learning together. So I stood there, and I looked up at everybody, we're all with our masks on and there was all the issues, should we should we be back? Should we not back and people are anxious? And when? No, this is the time. This is when I say Look, everyone. We're in this together. I promise you, I'm going to try my best for you. But I'm giving you a heads up that this is difficult for me to be here in front of you. I want to be here in front of you. And as soon as I said it, I felt unbelievable relief, even though I didn't get the applause to the end. And that's the point. I only got applause once they should be much more fluid. So then I got into the class and I got my rhythm and I was able to move which I wasn't able to do a COVID So I was able to be me in front of that room again and disabilities applause at the end and then I think it was two or three students walked me back to my office saying thanks for sharing. I really appreciate that someone would do that. It's again, it's that idea of the invisibility. Like I when I posted on Facebook to my family and friends. Everybody was telling me how brave I was to share my story. And, and I'm there? Well, it shouldn't be you shouldn't be brave. If you break your leg, you're not hiding that from anybody. Right? If you, you know, people see you, Oh, how'd you break your leg. And you know, our emotions are, if you're suffering from mental health issues, it's something inside you is making you fearful, something inside you is making you scared. And you know, I'm a dad, with my kid, when my kid was small, he was fearful and scared, he got a hug. And that's kind of not a hug to everybody. Because at COVID We can't do that. But it's like, it's to let people know, you know, there's people suffering, like you might be suffering more might be suffering less, but you're not in this alone. And that's the hardest bit was asking for help. For me, like I told you earlier, that was, once I asked for help, it was like, a tsunami of emotions. Like when I went to the my counselor, it was, I was wrong, I'd cry for most of it. I still, I mean, when you when when all of you clap for me, I was crying. But it was tears of absolute joy. And, you know, it's, it's one of those things where not that I want to be an example, because that's not my job. My job is to look after me. But it's more to say to people that this is okay. You know, and you should be allowed to say this, and you should be allowed to be like, that's the wrong word. Again, you should, you're allowed to not be the perfect strong rock. Because, again, a geographer, rocks can break. But enough protein for random geomorphologist will tell you that right?

Like I said, I've been sick for many years, without realizing it is that I would give a lecture. And I'd walk back to my office and I just beat myself up. In my head, that was terrible. That slide was in the wrong spot. And I would do all this in my head. And then I would bump into a student on the way to the bus or on the way home and students say, that was just the best lecture I've ever seen. And you're going well, you in the same lecture I was in. And it's because that's self criticism, that ability to criticize yourself rather than going to myself. That slide might not have been in the good place. But I think that was a really good class. You don't do that you go the critical way. Not in not, that's my clan, that more self compassion.

Zia Regino 22:19
I think it is so important that you brought up like, how much better it is when you start sharing and actually talking to people. Because I feel like, at least in my experience, when I am going through something, I think my first impulse is to kind of like shut down and like isolate and kind of think that like, Oh, I'm, I think I'm just being dramatic. I think I can just solve this by myself and like, I'll be fine. At least in my experience, whenever I have opened up to someone and have shared like how I'm feeling. I've always been met with compassion.

Ian O'Connell 22:56
Absolutely, that that was what I found. It was as soon as I told people, Oh, we didn't know. So anything I can do for you can go for a walk, I can just listen, you know. And it's amazing that you just open up whereas you think I love what you just said there. That was exactly me. And the second you say the word I'm fine. It's defensive. You already are not fine. Second, you said that word, you're not fine. Because you're defending it, I'm fine. Leave me alone.

Zia Regino 23:23
I'm kind of just like, pushing your feelings away, when you should just let yourself feel whatever you're feeling. You know,

Ian O'Connell 23:28
it's, it's, like I said about the therapy, toddlers, we should be back to being five. You're allowed to get upset and cry because you don't like that sweater. You know, it's acceptable when you're a child. Now it's childish. I don't want to be a grown up. I want to be able to explore me, obviously, I want to throw a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store. But you know, I eat this idea of like, we encourage children to enjoy their emotions and then somehow society makes us no, you have to be stoic. You have to be, you know, being silly. Is that word silly? What? What's wrong with being silly? What's wrong with having a laugh? What's wrong? Like, like when I teach? It's a very technical dry subject, that doesn't stop me coming up with some funny bits and pieces for it. You know, and it's still not demeaning the material while you're learning. So, yeah, I'm fine is a very defensive war situation. For people who don't know, it's still stigmatized. Especially in Western society, there's this, you have to be successful. There's this drive that, you know, you have to get a good job, you have to get a nice car you have to have, and there's this drive to be successful and that successful. Success is defined with things, not feelings. And I sometimes feel that society doesn't accept weakness, right? And it should because the whole concept of society is it's a full spectrum. It's a full rainbow of different types of people, different nests, and He sees different genders, different sexualities, the world is a wonderful, diverse place. But it's this idea of we all have to be well, if you're not, well, something's up. And that's, I think that's the issue. And I think it's a terrible thing. I think one of the one, the only good thing that came out of COVID is that I think mental health now has become more visible. It's talked about more here and Student Union Buildings, Junoon, society has got that helpful for people who are feeling mental illness issues with the Ukrainian war, right? The university has wellness situations. So it's there, that that there's an acceptance more that it's getting there. And COVID did that. It let you know, people were on their own, and suddenly, you didn't have a support network, or you didn't have you were feeling scared to go shopping, because you might get sick. And then there was fear, and, and then fear, and people never react well, when there's fear. That's when you get aggressive responses, everything else, your generation, had lived through COVID, and my son and his teenagers and his friends, and they've become very much aware of mental health issues. And they've been, you know, high schools have been talking about a university has been talking about. So my hope in the future is that this generation doesn't have to deal with the hangups that my generation had with it. You know, I mean, the obvious gap is we don't have enough family doctors, that's a huge gap. I was, I was lucky, I had a family doctor who knew me. So when I went to see her, she had my whole history in front of her. Okay, and that's, you know, that's a practical gap.

Zia Regino 26:49
These gaps are very real barriers that have to be dealt with, especially in Victoria, where most people don't even have a family doctor. There is a general lack of available counselors and therapists, which often results in long wait lists, and having to book weeks or even a month in advance just to get a session. And these things are not being said to discourage anyone. But it is important to recognize that as simple as just talking to someone sounds, there are still so many barriers preventing people from doing so. Not everyone can afford to pay for a counselor, you may get lucky and have access to free counselors through your work or university. But that might not work for everyone. In which case, it may be suitable to find one that offers a sliding scale, which is when fees are adjusted depending on an individual's income. If someone struggles with opening up and talking about difficult topics, one thing to consider is to find a therapist that is a good fit personality wise, so that it's more comfortable to have these conversations. Similarly, if you are someone who is neurodivergent, or has a disability, then finding a counselor that shares those same experiences, then might make you feel more understood. Or they might be able to provide guidance that is more appropriate to how you operate. The most important thing is to find what works best for you. And that might not look the same as everyone else. So I encourage everyone to take the time to figure that out. To help make therapy a more enjoyable experience rather than a stressful one. Therapy also isn't the only thing you can do. There are so many things that you can try alongside that might help. Having an outlet to release stress can be beneficial. I'm sure most people have heard exercise to journaling meditation, or doing something creative, such as painting or playing an instrument can be a good thing to focus on. For someone who is struggling, it can be easy to think, well how can these things make me feel better, or I've tried these things, but they don't work. If you haven't tried these things, be open to it, and maybe see how doing it consistently makes you feel if they don't necessarily make you feel any better. It is not a failure on your part. What works for others doesn't always have to work for you. Sometimes trying out new things can also be overwhelming. So leaning into what you are already interested in, or loved doing. Finding ways to expand that are finding a way that incorporates growth and learning can be a step you can take to improve your mental health. There is no right or wrong way to go about this. Because mental health isn't an individual experience. It's different for everyone. Here's a great story from Ian about one way he learned how to take care of himself and how to manage his energy when he doesn't feel his best.

Ian O'Connell 29:39
I couldn't work out when I was unwell. I couldn't manage my energy. Like I would teach on Zoom. And I would literally go into the sofa and I'd lie myself into a bowl to give myself enough energy to come back and teach the next class an hour later. So part of what I couldn't realizes I wasn't able to understand how much emotional energy was affecting my physical energy. And that's one of the that's one of those things about the invisibility of mental health is that your body is flooding itself with not nice things because you're not because you're anxious or you're depressed. And then that impacts the physical body. So when I was talking to my counselor, I was trying to work out. Like when when she'd say to me, Well, you had a good day, you got up, you had a shower, you walk to the store, and and they're gone. But I was exhausted. And then she was trying to explain to her what course you're exhausted, you have all this emotional energy that's draining your physical energy. So she gave me and I don't know where exactly where it came from. We called it The Spoon Theory. So in a day, you have 12 spoons to spend. So for each spoon, a spoon is like a shower is two spoons. Driving the car is four spoons, gone to work is eight spoons, so it's a currency. So it allows you to not think about individual things you've done, it's to say, Okay, I've used all my spoons, today, I'm done. The currency changes, right. So sometimes something that was one spoon is now going to be half a spoon or something that was five spoons is now one spoon. So it's an evolving thing. So at home, it became, because I was getting frustrated with myself by not being able to do things. We use the phrase at home, do you have any spoons left? Meaning, are you up to doing something else? So that became the robin saying, How are you feeling? How's it going? Right? It was more? Do you have any spoons left? Or how your spoons today? So my wife and my son for Christmas got me 12 wooden spoons. And only to the spoons, they wrote, you've got this lovely dad and all this. So I have the spoons at home. I love them. Because spoons became part of the language. And it was that gain of removing that invisibility. That, you know, I'm out of spoons, or look says that we were going to go for a walk tonight. Can you save some spoons for the war? Good. And so it became a way that we could communicate about how I was feeling. Because at the time I was still in that guilt stigma idea of going well, I should be able to do this, that this the spoon thing was that became so for Christmas, we got spoons, I got spoons, I got a heated, I got a weighted blanket, I got an aromatherapy kit, I got all these things to help me get well. So yeah, the spoons worked for me. So whenever I talked to be like, you're out of spoons, I'm out of what spoons Look, here's the deal. When you get up in the morning, so I always the teacher, always the teacher, but I don't think of spoons anymore. You know, it's, I'm, you know, I'm just I'll say I'm just not up to it. And that ability to undo, understand that you're not up to something and your ability, to be honest, is important to people around you. Because you can't just say I don't want to do it. Because then that will upset them. But you can say, I'm just not up to it today, if today was a bad day or today, today was a great day live, why don't we go and do something fun. And this idea of society, you know, this ability to understand that sometimes I'm able to give sometimes I'm not. But this ability to be honest with yourself when it comes to mental illness is very hard to come to. And again, I'm on that journey that you know, I'm not, I'm still cross with myself every now and again. But now I have the tools. And that's the reason why you reach for help is to give you the tools, the first thing everybody needs to think about is that you're not on your own. Even if you feel you're on your own, you're not on your own. That the most important step that I did. And I think it's an important step that everybody can do is you reach out for help. And whatever that help becomes, is the is your journey, because it's going to be everybody's journey is going to be different. I'm not saying that what I did work it did, it's worked for me. I was lucky I had a great doctor, I was lucky that I found a counselor who connected with me and what they said made sense. But the most important thing is, again, is you need to reach out you need to say to someone I'm having a bad day and said to someone that will listen to you and someone and the thing is it's you'll be surprised who that is you'll be surprised that it's just it might be a roommate, it might be a lab mate in a class, you might be someone you know you just you happen to be in a group we're doing some studying that you're not friends you just happen to have been just let them know and that is the most important first step is to ask for help. And that by asking for help, you've already accepted

that you are ill. It's not that you have a problem. And that was part of what I thought was you, you think you have a problem, you don't you're ill. And that's the one where it's the two buzzwords that I keep in my head now, is self compassion, not self criticism. And that's a difficult, that's the journey I'm on. Because it's very easy to be self critical. It's actually quite hard to be self compassion. Because you feel that you're selfish. Well, you're not being selfish, because you can't be there for your family and your friends and your loved ones. If you're not there for yourself first. So what I would take, what I would ask people to take from this is, take a breath, it's most important thing, breathe. Talk to someone, talk, and reach out and smile at the little things. And the little things can be the littlest things of all you walk outside your house. And you see we're in Victoria now a daffodil. Isn't that beautiful? Enjoy that second. And that's a mate that little second is that should be enough. Thank you for having me today. Actually, by the way,

Zia Regino 36:22
thank you so much for sharing your story.

Ian O'Connell 36:27
That was fun. I hope you probably have way too much.

Nicola 36:31
In this episode, we discussed the importance of seeking support around mental health, so we wanted to provide some local resources. On campus, there's the EVIC Peer Support Center where you can reach out if you're struggling with or have questions regarding mental health, or concern for a friend or need help accessing resources both on and off campus. To access them, you can go to upss.ca/peer Support Center, or you can find them in the basement of the sub room B 035. The Student Wellness Center on campus provides resources as well in the health and wellness building on campus. You can also call at 250-721-8563 Cal the Center for Accessible Learning works with faculty and students to promote educational equity and accessibility for students with disabilities. They create academic accommodations for students with learning disabilities, mental health conditions or long term recurring physical or sensory disabilities, among others. For general inquiries about how you can phone them at 250-472-4947 or email them at info cal@uvic.ca. Wellness together Canada offers free online support with one's mental health journey. These resources include self assessment tools, self guided courses, one on one counseling and an online community of support. You can access this at wellness together.ca off campus, the foundry offers young people ages 12 to 24 health and wellness resources, services and supports both online and in person. For more information you can call foundry Victoria at 250333552 starting 930 daily, or you can visit Victoria youth clinic.ca. For more details. The greater Victoria citizens Counseling Center offers affordable accessible counseling to adult residents of greater Victoria. All counseling is offered by volunteer counselors trained and supervised by the center. They have a sliding scale fee based on family income. To find out more visit citizens counseling.com or call 250-384-9934 Lastly, Vancouver Island Crisis Line is a 24 hour support line for emergency mental health services. You can call them at 1-888-494-3888 tech services are also available from six to 10pm at 250-800-3806

Zia Regino 38:57
This episode was produced by Zia Regino with help from Nicola Watts thank you to our guests Ian O'Connell this program would not have been possible without the support of the University of Victoria and the work study program. Original sounds and intro track produced by Zia Regino, if you like what you heard, check out other episodes of you in the ring and subscribe rate and review wherever you get your podcasts.

Ian O'Connell 39:23
And that's the thing is that this knows, like, like I said, I'm all fashion. I'm on Facebook. I don't even count it as social media because it's basically its friends from university showing each other pictures of their babies who are now all teenagers and then we all text each other god, we're not that old. Well, when we when we heading out to the bar this time last week, you don't yet know our teenagers are now heading out. So social media is good. I think. I think historians are going to look back on social media and go Oh, will you thinking about why did you all think that was a good idea? And then you know, it has it does good, right? But it's it's the constant flick flick next day